**Disclaimer I wrote this when feeling really tired and seriously scunnered. A few days on, I was in two minds about posting it, but what’s the point in just sharing a sanitised version of things. Having said that, as you can see later, there’s a line getting drawn in the sand here. Onwards.**

It’s a little bit before 7am on Tuesday morning and I’m scribbling this on the Caledonian Sleeper heading for Edinburgh and then home (and then a quick change to head to a wedding). Now into week 2 of the training plan but work and the wedding have ruled out runs today and yesterday so I’ll adjust the schedule for the rest of the week. 

If I’m being honest (and I have no plans to be anything but on here) another rest day is what the legs need…and that’s not a great thing to be saying in week 2. My good knee…clearly isn’t and my bad knee is borderline behaving itself but feels like it could join its near neighbour at any time. When I run it’s sore, or maybe it’s just discomfort but that might be me spinning it. When I stop running the pain stops (mostly) so in my mind, it doesn’t feel like an injury. It feels like something I’ve had before so whilst it’s getting me down a fair bit, I’m not getting overly panicked about it all. 

But when you look at the schedule, even if you take one run at a time, there’s a fair amount of miles for these knees to go through over the next few months…and I don’t have great confidence in either of them. I NEED to get to a place where I’m comfortable with the discomfort and compartmentalise it or it will dominate my training, my prep and all of my spare thinking time if I let it.  

I’m reluctantly going back to a patella strap. On the one hand, it’s a visible reminder that things aren’t quite right but on the other, I clocked my half marathon PB a few years back wearing one. From feeling the pain in the first 800m to easing myself into the race and clocking a 1:32 (on a course that I’m still convinced was long). The elusive sub 90 half will probably remain as such but it was some run if I say so myself. Confidence built as I went on; runners that had pulled away from me got closer and then it was me doing the overtaking in the second half of the race with a decent amount left in the tank for the last few, tough miles with a strong uphill finish. I knew I was on for the PB but as the photo shows, I worked ’til the line for every second, there was no coasting home and nothing was left on that course. 

Sorry I got a wee bit distracted there! As nice as it is to remember days and runs like that one, nostalgia can be a bit of a trap and the focus needs to be on October 9th, the race and all the challenges that come with it. I’ve picked an ‘intermediate’ training programme and set a pace that is based on the runner I am now and not the runner of old. It feels realistic whilst still showing a level of ambition for a marathon race debutant. I’m now trying to put it into practice with the training runs and week one, despite the pains, was a decent one. If anything I probably need to slow things down a bit more but that can be challenging when you are just used to running a certain way. I don’t do ‘eye balls out’ for every run (I did when I started running) but over the last few years I do seem to have a normal pace and a slightly quicker one. Now I need to find a third, slightly slower one and get used to doing miles in the zone. 

I’m realising you need to find that balance between, one run / one week at a time and being organised enough to plan out the full programme around work, travel, family life etc. I’ll admit my heart skipped a few beats and knee twinged a bit when I accidentally looked at July’s schedule and the Saturday long runs ramp up. 

As I close this out, I’m hoping that’s the ‘knees’ blog post done and we move on from here. I’m not sure anyone wants to read post after post of me saying I’ve got sore knees but it’s definitely weighed heavy on my mind. I did look at the injury clause last week and, momentarily, considered buying myself out of the race, writing a cheque to the charity and refunding all my sponsors. And then you remember this is the dream race in the dream city…and this might be the one shot I get at it. It’s going to hurt on the day so I’m as well getting used to that feeling now. I’m running this race in October. It will take more than a pair of dodgy knees on a set of chicken legs to stop me.